Random recipes
She Totally Just Did that Dragon – Wait, How?
I’ve always been intrigued by the idea of dragon sex in Dungeons & Dragons. Not two dragons doing it, mind you, but dragons doing the deed with other creatures. It’s never moved beyond that, I’ve never considered purchasing a finely made Bad-Dragon.com product, I’ve just been… curious. Maybe it’s because, despite Wizards of the Coast leaving out everything that has to do with sex (for obvious reasons), the worlds of D&D are filled with half-dragon creatures. Half-orcs, half-elves, and other half-breed usually make sense, since the creatures don’t differ too much in terms of everything, but dragon? It’s strange. It means that many citizens of Ebberon and Faerun simply enjoy having sexual relations with dragons. After some time, I figured it was me and the Bad Dragon crowd that was curious, and no one else.
And then I saw this picture.
XKCD On Why to Organize Your Game Cupboard
Can’t say I’ve run into this problem before. Then again, I have a hard time actually qualifying this as a problem. Falls more in like with “variant rule.” I’ll need to go shopping for some dice and get to work.
What I Learned from Playing D&D With Chris Perkins
At the Penny-Arcade Expo, I had the pleasure of playing in a short D&D session with Wizards of the Coast’s Christopher Perkins, best known (recently) for his voice on the Penny-Arcade podcast, DMing the adventurers. Sitting down to play, I didn’t really think there was much I could learn from a short session with the Dungeon Master. I figured it would be like jumping into a video-game, enjoying a quick session without actually taking anything out of it. I have a lot to learn.
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Jones’ D&D Soda Tastes Like Sweat, Dry-Erase Markers
I’m at a loss, here. On the one hand, Jones making D&D branded soda is a bit silly. It makes no sense, and there’s very little about D&D that sounds, shall we say, delicious? On the other hand, I’m really thirsty, so these look really good…
On another note, Wizards of the Coast was kind enough to send me more flavors that are in the works, and want other people to contribute ideas. Here’s what they have so far:
- Elf Tears
- Goblin Puke
- Orc Blood
- Gnome… um… Sauce…
- Dwarven Beard Flakes
- Dragon… um… Sauce
[Via Wired]
Jar of Dice on Warehouse 13?
Alright, so here’s the deal. I’m currently going through the episodes I missed of Syfy’s Warehouse 13 and catching up with the show. For those who don’t know, it’s about a group of agents whose job it is to go around the world finding artifacts to put in a Warehouse for protection and storage. A magical poker chip that allows people to see the future, Studio 54′s disco ball, Lewis Carroll’s mirror, etc. In the warehouse, there’s the “black room,” where they keep particularly fussy artifacts in a permanent mist of neutralizer in order to keep them from acting up, that’s where the above screengrab comes from. I’m not interested in Sylvia Plath’s typewriter in the middle of the screen, I’m interested in what appears at the bottom left. Learn more »
What Would Happen if You Snorted Residuum?
Deep within the lair of the evil Necromancer, a party of adventurers approaches the throne room. Inside, the Lich Montona sits on an ornate chair, a table in front of him. At this table sit four adventurers; dead. Montona walks next to one, as the party stared in fear, and flicks his wand, reducing the dead fighter’s sword to a small pile of residuum. He turns, smiling at the party, and welcomes them to his home. Before they have a chance to act, he leans down and snorts the pile of magical dust, bringing its arcane power deep into his evil body. His hair is lit on fire, wings sprout from his back, and his eyes begin to shoot laser beams.
Wait, what?
During a session today the question was posed: “What would happen if I snorted residuum?” Residuum is, for those who don’t know, pure magic. When a magical item is disenchanted, the result is an incredibly small amount of powder. This essence is extremely powerful and expensive, and is used in rituals and the creation of powerful artifacts. Learn more »
Review: Divine Power
Name: Divine Power
Publisher: Wizards of the Coast
System: 4th Edition Dungeons & Dragons
Once the basic rules of Fourth Edition were released, many thought that Wizards of the Coast was phasing out the reliance on Divine power. Before, a group without a Cleric was a group without a healer, and the game’s rules made it nearly impossible to proceed without some type of healing class. In comes 4E, bringing with it Healing Surges, Second Winds, and the ability to heal to full overnight. After a few months of play it became obvious that, while it’s possible to work without a healer, having a master of the Divine arts is still the way to go. With the release of Divine Power, WotC has added further support for the classes associated with the godliest of all domains, enhancing and improving them in many ways.
With Divine Power, the Avenger, Cleric, Invoker, and Paladin receive updates, with each getting a number of new classes, builds, powers, and paragon paths. On top of that, there are a goodly amount of new feats, domains, rituals, and Epic Destinies. It’s a holy book full of awesome stuff! Ouch, that’s a bad joke. I’ll keep this review wholly serious. Heh. Learn more »
Gamepro Circa December 1995 Advertises AD&D
Here’s a blast from the past. When looking through old Gamepro issues for a new feature on Gamervision.com, Dominic found an advertisement for AD&D in the December 1995 issue. It’s… not bad. Anyone remember seeing this?
Wizards of the Coast Wants You to Design D&D Shoes
Apparently Wizards of the Coast has teamed up with RYZ to make D&D shoes. I’m serious. Shoes. The strange pairing is actually the beginning of a contest (called the “Sell Your Sole” contest, get it?), where you can actually design the shoes and win a bit of money, as well. For as silly as it sounds, I’m actually interested. Sure, I’m not going to make the shoes myself, for I lack the talent and patience, but the ones they show as a demo are sort of cool. As long as they price them well (and I mean really well) I might be tempted.
Here’s a link to the contest, anyone else want to strap their feet into some Dungeons and Dragons? I own a few nerdy D20 shirts and know some with D&D wallets and the like, but shoes? They might be a bit much. In the same way, who could turn down a nice pair with Beholders of Dragons on them? Not me, that’s for damn sure.
NSFW: Bad Dragon Sex Toys Are A Critical Eww.
I don’t have to explain how I found this, just know I wasn’t perusing the internet for dragon porn. I swear. By some, uh, strange happenstance, I found myself on Bad-Dragon.com (click at own discretion), a website that has both Dragon Porn and, well, Dragon Sex Toys. Really. I simply couldn’t have made this up.
No, no, no. It isn’t normal. They aren’t glass sex toys with pictures of dragons or anything like that, they’re actually sex toys modeled after what the creators think dragon’s man-bits look like, complete with images to help the, ehem, allusion. They come in a wide (and I mean wide) variety of shapes, colors, races, and sizes, from the wonderful “Drippy Dragon” (seen above), to the “Orkin,” which is supposed to come from a beast more whale than dragon. I’m… without words. It’s absolutely worth going to the website to click around at a fetish that would make Larpers cry out in fear, and if they weren’t so expensive it would be THE gag gift for a friend. Hell, I’ve even heard people joking about creating D&D Campaigns around the idea, since wrangling dragons to the ground to take casts of their members is likely a dangerous and lucrative business.
That is all. I’m very, very sorry.
