NSFW: Bad Dragon Sex Toys Are A Critical Eww.
I don’t have to explain how I found this, just know I wasn’t perusing the internet for dragon porn. I swear. By some, uh, strange happenstance, I found myself on Bad-Dragon.com (click at own discretion), a website that has both Dragon Porn and, well, Dragon Sex Toys. Really. I simply couldn’t have made this up.
No, no, no. It isn’t normal. They aren’t glass sex toys with pictures of dragons or anything like that, they’re actually sex toys modeled after what the creators think dragon’s man-bits look like, complete with images to help the, ehem, allusion. They come in a wide (and I mean wide) variety of shapes, colors, races, and sizes, from the wonderful “Drippy Dragon” (seen above), to the “Orkin,” which is supposed to come from a beast more whale than dragon. I’m… without words. It’s absolutely worth going to the website to click around at a fetish that would make Larpers cry out in fear, and if they weren’t so expensive it would be THE gag gift for a friend. Hell, I’ve even heard people joking about creating D&D Campaigns around the idea, since wrangling dragons to the ground to take casts of their members is likely a dangerous and lucrative business.
That is all. I’m very, very sorry.
Dyson Logos says:
Bad-Wrong-Fun!!!
BAD-WRONG!
BAD!
WRONG!
April 13th, 2009 at 12:46 pm
FemJesse says:
I think the original idea was to make simulations of real animals, and they’re using fantasy animals to segway into it.
The “Orca” seems to back up this theory. (I bet horse and donkey and dolphin are soon to come)
I like that you can buy fake dragon semen from this site, and I still think our DM should buy it and squirt it all over us one day when we’re adventuring through a mysterious cave.
April 13th, 2009 at 1:28 pm
Donny_the_DM says:
@Femjesse – I can see it now, ambushed by a Jizz Dragon, rarest and most feared of all!
April 14th, 2009 at 2:11 pm
That was not medicine, that was homicide. says:
I found this page by searching for Bad Dragon. And lighten up, there are weirder things than that. Thought the Demi looks pretty cool. And the reason why it’s expensive is because they use 100% pure hand crafted silicone.
April 28th, 2009 at 5:28 pm
FemJesse says:
Dude silicon and silicone molds are way cheaper than that. They said the toys have a tendency to bubble anyway. That’s a common problem or so I hear.
Maybe if I were rich I’d drop the dime on the whole series just as a collection of oddity, but I’m not rich. So I can’t justify spending 100$ for even one of these. You’d have to be a Scalie to pay that dime.
I’m not a saint, but I don’t have 100 bucks to drop on a dildo, even on the premise that its also art, and in a strange way- performance art.
May 1st, 2009 at 10:14 pm
That was not medicine, that was homicide. says:
Ah well, I don’t have the money either but it would be pretty funny to show off.
May 3rd, 2009 at 12:48 am
D-rag says:
What can I say? i have most of their models, they actually are kinda fun! Great centrepieces at a social gathering…
“what’s that? looks cool!”
“That’s a simulated dragon dick, finely sculpted for my pleasure! *leans in and whispers* you don’t want to know where it’s been!” *laughs heartily*
May 7th, 2009 at 11:06 am
citrus says:
haha, i have one of those
May 7th, 2009 at 6:23 pm
Don't you wish you knew says:
Well, really this isn’t all that bad. I have an account on the forums, and the people are really cool ( yes I know it’s odd and weird, even disgustion for most people ) but really its not bad at all, I even own a couple of the toys. and the fact that they bubble, they sell those for way less usually on the adoption thread. the only mayjor bubbling is on the bases where it gives them more suctioncup way to them.
May 7th, 2009 at 8:19 pm
Noodles says:
Actually, I bought one of these, and it’s quite nice. It’s a bit pricey compared to the common fare, but it’s a very nice material, with a really interesting surface texture. They say it has a 25 year warranty, and considering the last one of these types of things I bought, that makes it a bargain if you’re going to keep it for a fraction of that time. Most of their toys are a little on the big side, though, so as fun as that may be, it’s adding to the cost, as well. On the other hand, I think they have the bubbles taken care of, since mine didn’t have a trace of any bubbling in the toy, nor was there even a fleck in the base of it.
May 8th, 2009 at 11:43 pm
Chicken Stock says:
I wasn’t aware that fetishes were wrong. This site is a critical ew. O shit.
May 18th, 2009 at 8:51 am
FemJesse says:
Hey Chick, you visited didn’t you? O shit.
Anyways I heard they have a female dragon part now? I’m gonna have to check this out and be critical about it later. I always thought boxes for boys were funny, but I guess dildos are inherently funny as well.
May 21st, 2009 at 2:24 pm
Your Mom says:
I can guarantee you that the author of this article is a dedicated member on the forums and owns a few of those “toys” themself.
May 25th, 2009 at 7:45 pm
Coop says:
I love the people flooding the site from the forums because I said “eww.” I didn’t even really badmouth the product, but saying that I think they’re weird is apparently abominable.
May 25th, 2009 at 10:29 pm
-- says:
No one’s berating you for calling them ‘weird’. Just an fyi.
May 26th, 2009 at 3:08 am
him says:
Normal is just a setting on your washing machine.
May 31st, 2009 at 11:53 am
anon#4 says:
Lol, publicity.
May 31st, 2009 at 8:36 pm
Ohyoudidn'tknow says:
Actually they feel pretty good! especially if you warm the cum lube up a little first! mmm! I am working with the demi right now! ^^
June 13th, 2009 at 7:53 pm
Omigod I can't beleive he says:
I just got one….it’s great fun…Big as hell, though….
But the 25 year warranty…do most sex toys even do warranty offers? I’ve been pitching ideas on the forum for a couple of days….
@every0ne: Buy one! It’s costy, but nothing fun is cheap
June 18th, 2009 at 9:06 am
DamonLied says:
well, to be fair, bad dragon are now using 3D printers so the bubbles are no more. and the silicone they use is high quality and they pay allot for it. and concidering toys like the larg seadragon use almost 1/2 a gallon. i think the price is justified.. fun toys to
August 10th, 2009 at 12:18 am
FPSdoug says:
You gotta try it, even if you aren’t a furry.
August 19th, 2009 at 12:01 am
Ambrose says:
As someone who recently made his rent by selling sex toys, I’d like to chime in and say that the experience has left me totally accepting of bizarre sexual tastes, as long as they are between consenting adults or mindless bits of polymer. Beyond that I’d just be thankful for privacy and the ability to remain oblivious. Lots of people, mostly those you wouldn’t expect, have strange turn ons. The number of 75 year old men who like trannies who came into the store was astronomical. 1 to 2 times a week we had a man come in and expose himself trying on lingerie. Different one, every time. Probably a good third of the videos I sold included strange penetrations, physical deformity, bondage or excessive body hair. If I couldn’t get past that fact, I wasn’t about to make it when I saw them at the Chinese restaurant when my parents and little brothers were visiting. All in all, furries are weird, but not much weirder than anybody else, many of whom you probably know.
Just food for thought, nothing really offended, I just thought I could offer some insight.
September 3rd, 2009 at 12:54 pm
Aquadragon Larsen says:
Iam planning on getting a medium sea dragon, the founder of the company lives not that far from me lolz, the work they put on these toys is amazing, the thought of being f**ked by a dragons cock makes me go murrrrrrr
September 29th, 2009 at 2:58 pm
Roe says:
I love how the OP acts as if he or she is disgusted by it. They know they love it. Secretly..
deep down in their anal cavity.
October 21st, 2009 at 1:09 pm
Coop says:
I like that, because I think they’re kinda gross, it means I wants one in my butt. Awesome logic.
October 21st, 2009 at 4:08 pm
ksama says:
I don’t have one yet, but i seriously plan on getting one. They look awesome, i can’t decide on which one to get! Furries are super nice and awesome and btw Coop, that is awesome logic!!!
October 28th, 2009 at 7:07 pm
... says:
TENTACLES!!! X3
November 2nd, 2009 at 2:52 am
LuLz says:
that is fucking gross, furfags
November 8th, 2009 at 12:11 am
baracudaboy says:
lolol. I want the seadragon so bad.
<3
November 21st, 2009 at 7:22 am
Vesper Monatok says:
hehe don’t complain about them until you try one!
I have a few of them and most of them are the dragons and they are great to use. People are naturally horny and dildos are there for those who want to feel what it is like to have a certain creature in them, i.e. horse dildo.
November 30th, 2009 at 12:08 pm
GothBear says:
Yeey! Where famous, where famous! ^_^ Well, I meant “where”, I’m only a BD customer and forumgo-er. But still
GIVE ME SOME MORE EEEWWWWW!!!!
December 5th, 2009 at 4:45 am
anonymous says:
HE SAID CONSUMMATE “V”s! CONSUMMATE!!!
And one beefy arm, just sticking out the back of his neck there for good measure
January 6th, 2010 at 7:33 pm
anonymous says:
i got one of them aswell XD great stuff
January 13th, 2010 at 5:21 pm
Daddnhaddn says:
I LIKE DRAGON PORN!! AM I PERVERT?! YES AND I LIKE IT: I FUCK DRAGOOOONS!! I LOVE TO PENETRATE THIER CLOAKES!!!!!!!!!!
January 15th, 2010 at 2:38 pm
QWERTY kid says:
yeah i gotta agree with the guy above. sure its a little “weird” but thats from your perspective I LOVE DRAGONS TOOO!!!!
January 26th, 2010 at 3:48 pm
Tagurit says:
I havn’t gotten a BD toy yet but I’v been drooling over them forever. The Dragoness, Janine, is definitely gonna be one I get someday, but as a guy with a virgin tailhole, I cant decide which male toy to get first. Something small enough to not hurt, but textured enough to be a great ride. Anyone got a suggestion? Drop me a line?
March 17th, 2010 at 2:22 am
Stephen Simon says:
The bad-dragon toys are amazing. not only are they unique, but they are well made sex toys. its not just like “oh look at what we cast” you can get 3 (even 4) sizes of most toys, different firmness, the works. Me and my girlfriend both love them. Don’t knock it till you’ve tried it folks.
as for gag gifts. go ahead and give me one, i’d love it
April 26th, 2010 at 10:36 pm
baracudaboy says:
What the fuck is wrong with a dildo, its not a real animal. And your being a huge fucking asshole by making the assumption that just because someone wants to stick something up their hole that isn’t a BORING FUCKING HUMAN DICK every now and then is a zoophile. Thats what dildos are for, to simulate shapes that are more fun then a real penis, if penises were more fun shaped we wouldn’t need dildo likethis.
May 2nd, 2010 at 1:14 pm
Coop says:
Speaking of “huge fucking asshole,” how did you enjoy your purchase?
Also, simmer down, I’m not going to smack the seadragon out of your eager hand. It’s just not my cup of tea, that’s all.
May 3rd, 2010 at 9:46 pm